Under My Skin

There is some one under my skin, I hate. Its not that i haven't tried hard enough to patch up with it. I tried my best but he refused to co-operate and brought unbearable pain for me. Now after 25-26 yrs, I revolt and say him to leave me but unsuccessful so far. No matter what I did to avoid him, he didn't leave. With everyday my hate for him increases a bit more. I can't explain how foolish this chap is.

Such an idiot who says we should always remain sensible. We should trust each other. He says love is the most strongest force, dedication can make true every dream, we have. He also says what if you were unsuccessful in achieving some thing at some point of time, doesn't mean you stop trying. One person broke your trust, cheated you, played with your emotions and all this when person know, how much affection/trust you put in that fellow, not a right reason to not make friends again, never fall in love again, to not trust anyone. After all its just a person who made you go through all the pain so isn't it wrong to yell at whole the world.

He further adds we humans need social life to live, no one has ever lived life fully in isolation. World is really big, every day we meet new people, they behave the way, they interpretate life. After all there is differentiation good and bad, no need to say which one lasts finally.  Fellow says we should behave in a way, which we expect for our self, we may appear to be highest for moments by pushing some deserving one or more capable than our self but we will never get enough strength to overcome our (ever existent from that moment) fear to lose that place. With every moment this fear makes its grip stronger because we know, we really don't deserve the place.

At last comes a point at which we have furious argument, is, He says me to love a person, once I had some liking, tantamount to the feeling existing other side.It wont be wrong if I say, it was feeling of otherside those persuade me to think that way, no wonder if it's called rubbish now. Well lets  leave them  intact to know what word "Rubbish" really means.But after expressing it what I've got only snub and insult. It hurts as I don't know what was other side but in me..... leave it.

As it really doesn't matter whether It was 1st time in my life or last time. What am I? how I tackled situation, what capabilities lie in me and how and y i say, you are going to be lucky in coming life. When a person has decided to not reveal anything, he won't no matter what you thought. even after all this fellow says me to love care that person and mentions there is no ego in love. Wait, wait, wait, what did you say rubbish ? Really ? I say to person you can surely manipulate in a way, where every body will say, its me whoz troubling life of  other person/u. But deep inside you know, it was your initiative, your expressions showed your mind and you can't change this fact till you are on earth. Your smartness may conceal embarassment some times but not always. I feel sorry to say that but you wouldn't have enough choice to reward your feelings and you cant complain for it to your god. If we continue to do something which is wrong by our own principles, who can help us ut? Some ppl amend ways midway but as i said some and never feel shame in apologising but i know you won't.

God exists or may not be but there is something called goodness which never return's empty handed. With every insult, it becomes more determine to achieve that and says feeling never die, what dies is, our will to feel that feeling. A person can hide, misplace feelings but can't kill them. So feelings still must be there, know the reason why ? search the answer and as you deliver the answer your love would be standing with you and also for ever. If your feelings were natural and true then its a loss for other one as it missed opportunity to be happiest and luckiest person on earth. Not just for making yourself feel good, these are natural laws which no one could ever break. Let them laugh and make a joke of it but life has a tendency to teach hard people in harder way.There are people those correctify themselves midway.

Well I don't know where this person in me, learnt all this but I know, how much these principles have cost me. For last 25 years, I have always lived life silently with his mentioned principles but all I have got is, pain and more pain. lately it has become unbearablre and now it has reached up to a point when I can't take it anymore. This pain already made me feel numb at times. Now I don't want to tread this path, he mentions.

ps: Once I asked my dad whats most difficult thing to do in our world.

He said "TO LIVE,LIFE OF A SIMPLE PERSON" !

"Dad I'm agree from day onwards."