At home..........

Well when I was coming all the way to home, a fellow passenger, kinda talkative, asked about my career so far. As usual I gave him a brief about it, and as he came to knew about that I'm going back to home after Mba. He said me "it is going to be my best time, I asked "why" ? He said with a track record like your's, you will have a very good future with such a good job just being a beginning for you he further added "now don't need to worry anything at this point of time, just enjoy. I didn't give much attention for this and just smiled but his words " good time" just left somewhere in unconscious mind.
But what actually followed, I'll not call bad time . But surely one of the disturbed phase of life. Being a lone son, I always have had my own advantages and disadvantages.
It helped me in shaping career nicely , but company of siblings gives more fun to life. One more thing I realized early is that I accepted I'm alone and whatever I have got to do at my hands, is my work. Do it with pleasure or do it with pain, it's all mine. Perhaps that was one of the deciding factor in my career. In last 8 years when ever I came home, books accompanied me . This time when nothing more to do, I felt some kind of loneliness creeping with in.
But what to do ? as it's again my very own problem. But issue is whom I'm missing ? Because I have seen very closely, even If you do your best, when someone has decided to hate you, you can't change one's mind. Even if you put ego thing away, still no chance. Go close, get hurt and cry like a loser and cycle continues. So what's use to have one !
It's interesting to observe How things change at a place you left behind for perusal of your aim/dreams. In childhood, when ever we came at dad's native place, I got company of cousins and just couldn't know where time has gone. Me and cousin no2 found, we both share same frequency and with time our bond grows strongly. We both wanted to be super commando dhruv or some cony detectives of diamond comics rajan iqbal. Life was good and both us were desperately trying to grow older, to do the things, those were prohibited to children. That's not enough we tried some risky things to encourage ourself. In our achievements first comes when we both were walking on bridge made for train passage, bridge was quite long and only single way movement was possible. When we almost arrived at mid point, we just realized from opposite direction train was coming at a very fast speed. Being at the mid point and single way passage , we had one option only "to run". But my detective cousin said, even if we tried we are not going to make it before train thrashed and rip our bodies apart.
We both enjoyed doing risky things. So when train arrived at the place, we were standing, both of us were hanging from bridge by holding lower part of rail ( wooden part) on which train was moving. W e were 12 then and next 2 mins were simply enough to tell how does it feel when death just pass by your side. We felt how long is a duration of 120 seconds could be. After train was passed, we both came over an just felt like we have done some miracle or some extra ordinary job. We both didn't say anything to anyone ab't this . Ppl saw two boys hanging from bridge after train passed they rushed toward us, but we were quick enough to disappear from scene before they reached there. But what was the situtaion while hanging from bridge which was 150 mts above ground level ? Well just cant explain as it shakes me now.
Not only this, I remember that dark night when both of us left the bus midway to make a short cut through a jungle for reaching his maternal uncle's home. That place was 23 kms away and some how no 2 mark was erased and we just thought it's only 3 kms away. 5 hours journey through a place, where even in day time, no one dares to pass because it was considered haunted along with potential danger of animals, robbers . Although we also gotta know this when we reached our destination.
Today we both passed each other, by pretending as hasn't seen other one.How things changed ? None of us know. He did what he wanted to do and so did I. Career and those last 10 yrs made us different human and honestly I dont know why we both have become like that. May be it's one more shade of life.
He used to say, there are very few things/people in life, when you look at and your heart says, just give me that.........I will not ask any favor, I will get other things by myself. Although now we are different person with our own set of characteristics, I believed in it and tried myself never get into such thing. Now with all things settled well.
I have just felt, yes, there was something I missed. But I cant blame my self, initially I thought, it's my illusion there is nothing as real what my eyes see. May be it's again lone child tendency which stopped me to desire what is not in my realm. When you tread a path of some philosophy for 25 yrs of life, you just can't change your ways for what you just feel like doing that. You wait till the fog dies in dust and you can predict what to do. But right at the moment if some one replace the thing ?
Don't know what to do. No, never cry like a loser then what to do ? Ask your heart, was it real what I have seen ? Do u trust your eyes ? If you do then what your eyes saw, existed some where. Find it, win it, create it. It doesnt matter where is that thing/one now, If you know that thing is the one, you only need to create your rainbow. Then there is no regret. You will get it and believe me if your faith is true, eventually that thing will come in your way..........and thats what, I believe in, live in....cause miracle happen for those believe in them.
So let the thing/one know you are out to win it whatever was the obstacle, it was, if you are sure, That is the "1", ntn else matters, its better late than never, there is no shame in apologizing for being late and asking for what is your's. After all it takes time to ask yourself " what do you really want" ? But when you know, life looks like a dream comes true. It might not be existed earlier, but if you could create and did what you said. Then there is nothing as good as living your dream.

How ?
Winning is a game of passion, get one in anything, achievements will follow you !until you convert some impossible, in to possible. You haven't given a chance to your life to be grand, or wats use of a life if you don't have something dying for

I luv this line from movie khamoshi " wo zindgi he kya jisme ko namumken sapna na ho !"

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