So do I !

If you love yourself then some decisions, although painful for next few moments, are worth making. In fact define a part of life, you always wished to live after you achieve an important milestone in your journey.

Cos shape is round........

Sitaro ko apni aankho main rakh lo, bahut door tak ab raat he raat hogi,
bhulna mat jaana mera nam aap kyoki musafir ho tum bhe musafir hoon main bhe,
kya pata achanak kisi din mulakat hogi !

A complex web........

We never lose, what we never had. Then what ? why again and again, I find myself involved.

It took time but scrathing my head finally I got the answer. We don't meet right person every otherday. Its a honest answer cause we can not lie person within. But life wasn't as easy, What lies between a complex web, we ppl create.
You can not through it alone when person in front of you says your left is my right and vice versa. Noone thinks when we move in same direction then right or left really doesn't matter. Its simple, how will you think when you are busy in putting yourself at upper hand. Call it ego or distance, it means same.
After no one likes to be a loser. Isn't it that we are being a loser, in real game lled life.
In many cases it become worse, when a gesture to do it right, interpretated as an act of defame. Eachone among us wants a perfect telationship to be happy but we never try to know how distant we have taken ourself.
Truth is in this vacum we dont hear any other voice except our own. Those listen know the secret of a perfect relation. I have read somewhere that mistakes become milestone if you have learnt the lesson. But when comes on relationship, I see it fails. This web cant be through until both corners try it willingly. May be thats why most of the relationships die young. It contains a critical factor called timing. Reason being amplitude which cant become strong enough to breakthrough if timing doesnt synchronice, making it a bit more critical to tryout.
well like it not but its a color we choose to live with, after all we are the creator of our destiny.

Turn the page

and you will have one more experience. Seems like the fog of the days getting condense with everyday. One thing I noticed in this fog quite opposite of basic rules. Objects become more clearer with sunlight and after a amplitude things starts to fade a bit more with passage of time. But fog only gets condense with passage of time and it seems to be everywhere, suddnely you gotta see it no where. Scientific reason mentioned for this phenomena says settlement of dust particles.
Just like human mind, finding yourself amid flowing emotions in a direction and suddenly you feel like there is no direction. It hurted a lot initially but was right way so I started to live with saying what ever happens, happens for good. But it wasn't the case, I can ignore. Yet again it was boumd to happen. I know, we don't have control over thing but as said be the change you want to bring in the world. Obviously honesty is the 1st thing, to be taken care.

Atleast you don't need to waste your time when you become center. There is nothing unusal in being numb for moments and respect you have within, called conspiracy. Perception could be taken negative but if you have fact in front of you then it simply called as plan. This is state, pain literally tells that you are alive.
We can accept our mistake, we can also help some look out of the perimeter. But we need will to know. I have realised a man's biggest enemy lies within. Anger is a state when decision are made already and efforts are to allign them any how. word called anyhow literally means anyhow. After all we do mistakes till we live then why do we feel shame in leaving the beast. May be its what we call colour of life. I'd be last person on earth to boaist about my achieve ments. Of course there is proud but thats just a catalyst. Everybody knows own competency and its for yourself only then still its nothing to brag about. But there are issues those can provoke any one yes anyone.
Under skin, every body has something to justify self then what to do? Here I gotta learn what do we mean when we say adjustment. Biggest proof for the statement is nowhere away but very much close to us and its this world. You can devide whole world in every individual characteristics. How many no? Well cant count yet our world moves.

If we synchronise all those parts together then no doubt it would be called a better place to live but unfortunately we cant because even if you put yourself lower, it might not provoke to behave same way.
Then what? Life is a journey not a destination.

So question is we hurt till we think we have lost something lovable but isn't it that lovable something also lost a lovely heart too ? Well there is no loss if we have no attachment but again isn't it a useless life when you exist but not alive. While god gave you opportunity to feel the pleasure and joys around by exchanging sweetest gift of smile of a cute kid, you just made happy by offering a vanilla.

Happy Birthday

So it's birthday, well is it like that older by one more year or wiser by one more year? I think it's all about how do you look at it. rite ?

Aarambh Hai Prachand,

आरम्भ है प्रचंड बोल मस्तकों के झुंड,
आज जंग की घडी की तुम गुहारदो |

(आरम्भ है प्रचंड बोल मस्तकों के झुंड, आज जंग की घडी की तुम गुहार दो
आन बाण शान या की जान का हो दान आज एक धनुष के बाण पे उतार दो)
आरम्भ है प्रचंड

(मन्न करे सो प्राण दे, जो मन्न करे सो प्राण ले
वही तोह एक सर्वशक्तिमान है ) - 2
कृष्ण की पुकार है ये भागवत का सार है
की युद्ध ही तोह वीर का प्रमाण है,
कौरवो की भीड़ हो या पांडवो का नीड़ हो
जो लड़ सका है वोह ही तोह महान है |
जीत की हवास नहीं, किसी पे कोई वश नहीं
क्या जिंदगी है ठोकरों पे मार दो
मौत अंत है नहीं तोह मौत से भी क्यों डरे
ये जाके आसमान में दहाड़ दो |

आरम्भ है प्रचंड बोल मस्तकों के झुंड
आज ज़ंग की घडी की तुम गुहार दो
आन बाण शान, या की जान का हो दान,
आज एक धनुष के बाण पे उतार दो |
आरम्भ है प्रचंड

(हो दया का भाव या की शौर्य का चुनाव
या की हार का वोह घांव तुम यह सोच लो) -2
या की पुरे भाल पर, जला रहे विजय का लाल
लाल ये गुलाल तुम सोच लो,
रंग केसरी हो या मृदंग केसरी हो
या की केसरी हो ताल तुम यह सोच लो

जिस कवी की कल्पना में जिंदगी हो प्रेम गीत
उस कवी को आज तुम नकार दो
भीगती नसों में आज, फूलती रगों में आज

आग की लपट का तुम बखार दो

आरम्भ है प्रचंड बोल मस्तकों के झुंड

आज ज़ंग की घडी की तुम गुहार दो

आन बाण शान, या की जान का हो दान,

आज एक धनुष के बाण पे उतार दो |

आरम्भ है प्रचंड

Aarambh Hai Prachand,Bole Mastako Ke Jhund
Aaj Jung Ki Ghadi Ki Tum Guhar Do

Aan Baan Shaan Ya Ki Jaan Ka Ho Daan

Aaj Ek Dhanush Ke Baarn Pe Utaar Do

Aarambh Hai Prachand,Bole Mastako Ke Jhund
Aaj Jung Ki Ghadi Ki Tum Guhar Do
Aan Baan Shaan Ya Ki Jaan Ka Ho Daan
Aaj Ek Dhanush Ke Baarn Pe Utaar Do
Aarambh Hai Prachand


Mann Kare So Praan De, Jo Mann Kare So Praan Le
Wahi To Ek Sarv Shaktimaan Hai
Ishr Ki Pukaar Hai Yeh Bhagwat Ka Saar Hai
Ki Yudh Hi To Veer Ka Pramaan Hai
Kauravo Ki Bheed Ho Ya Pandavo Ka Neer Ho
Jo Lad Saka Hai Wo Hi To Mahaan Hai
Jeet Ki Hawas Nahi, Kisi Pe Koi Vash Nahi
Kya Zindagi Hai Thokaro Pe Maar Do
Maut Anth Hai Nahi To Maut Se Bhi Kyu Dare?
Yeh Jaake Aasmaan Mein Dahaad Do

Aarambh Hai Prachand, Bole Mastako Ke Jhund
Aaj Jung Ki Ghadi Ki Tum Guhar Do
Aan Baan Shaan Ya Ki Jaan Ka Ho Daan
Aaj Ek Dhanush Ke Baarn Pe Utaar Do
Aarambh Hai Prachand…

Ho Daya Ka Bhaav Ya Ki Shaurya Ka Chunaav
Ya Ki Haar Ka Wo Ghaav Tum Yeh Soch Lo

Ya Ki Poore Bhaal Bhar Jala Rahe Vijay Ka Laal
Laal Yeh Gulaal, Tum Yeh Soch Lo
Rang Kesari Ho Ya Mridang Kesari Ho Ya Ki
Kesari Ho Laal Tum Yeh Soch Lo..

Jis Kavi Ki Kalpana Mein Zindagi Ho Prem Geet
Uss Kavi Ko Aaj Tum Nakaar Do
Bheegti Nasso Mein Aaj, Phoolti Rago Mein Aaj
Aaj Aag Ki Lapat Ka Tum Baghaar Do

Aarambh Hai Prachand, Bole Mastako Ke Jhund
Aaj Jung Ki Ghadi Ki Tum Guhar Do
Aan Baan Shaan Ya Ki Jaan Ka Ho Daan
Aaj Ek Dhanush Ke Baarn Pe Utaar Do
(Aarambh Hai Prachand)
Hoye Hoye Hoye…

from haqikat.........

Main yeh soch kar us ke dar se uthaa tha
Voh rok le gi mujh ko, mana le gi mujh ko
Hawaaon mein lehraata aata tha daaman
Ke daaman pakad kar bithaa le gi mujh ko
Qadm is aandaaz se uth rahe the
Ke aawaaz de kar bulaa le gi mujh ko.

Magar us ne roka na mujh ko manaya
Na daaman hi pakda na mujh ko bithaaya
Na aawaaz hi di na mujh ko bulaaya
Main aahista-aahista badta hi aaya
Yahan tak ke us se juda ho gaya ...

-Poet : Kaifi Azmi

I know yup i know........

Koi diwana kehta hai, koi pagal samajhta hai,

Magar dharti ki baichani ko bas badal samajhta hai.
Main tujhse door kaisa hoon, tu mujhse door kaisi hai,
Yeh tera dil samajhta hai ya mera dil samajhta hai.

Mohabbat ek ehsason ki pawan si kahani hai,
Kabhi kabira diwana tha, kabhi mira diwani hai.
Yahan sab log kahte hain meri aankhon mein ansoon hain,
Jo tu samjhe to moti hai, jo na samjhe to pani hai.

Samandar pir ka andar hai lekin ro nahin sakta,
Yeh ansoon pyar ka moti hai, isko kho nahin sakta.
Meri chahat ko dulhan tu bana lena, magar sun le,
Jo mera ho nahin paya, woh tera ho nahin sakta

Moment wishes.......

Mere man ye bata de tu

kis aur chala hai tu
kya paya nahi tune,
jo dhoond raha hai tu
Jo hai ankahi, jo hai unsuni
vo bat kya hai bata
Mitwa....

Kahe dhadkane tujse kya !

You know........

maybe this is why
we fall in love

because we cannot
change the ending

... but with love
we can change the story

sometimes
I feel
I don't need love
I really don't
because
love is an antidote to loneliness
... and I am not lonely
I am alone !

Under My Skin

There is some one under my skin, I hate. Its not that i haven't tried hard enough to patch up with it. I tried my best but he refused to co-operate and brought unbearable pain for me. Now after 25-26 yrs, I revolt and say him to leave me but unsuccessful so far. No matter what I did to avoid him, he didn't leave. With everyday my hate for him increases a bit more. I can't explain how foolish this chap is.

Such an idiot who says we should always remain sensible. We should trust each other. He says love is the most strongest force, dedication can make true every dream, we have. He also says what if you were unsuccessful in achieving some thing at some point of time, doesn't mean you stop trying. One person broke your trust, cheated you, played with your emotions and all this when person know, how much affection/trust you put in that fellow, not a right reason to not make friends again, never fall in love again, to not trust anyone. After all its just a person who made you go through all the pain so isn't it wrong to yell at whole the world.

He further adds we humans need social life to live, no one has ever lived life fully in isolation. World is really big, every day we meet new people, they behave the way, they interpretate life. After all there is differentiation good and bad, no need to say which one lasts finally.  Fellow says we should behave in a way, which we expect for our self, we may appear to be highest for moments by pushing some deserving one or more capable than our self but we will never get enough strength to overcome our (ever existent from that moment) fear to lose that place. With every moment this fear makes its grip stronger because we know, we really don't deserve the place.

At last comes a point at which we have furious argument, is, He says me to love a person, once I had some liking, tantamount to the feeling existing other side.It wont be wrong if I say, it was feeling of otherside those persuade me to think that way, no wonder if it's called rubbish now. Well lets  leave them  intact to know what word "Rubbish" really means.But after expressing it what I've got only snub and insult. It hurts as I don't know what was other side but in me..... leave it.

As it really doesn't matter whether It was 1st time in my life or last time. What am I? how I tackled situation, what capabilities lie in me and how and y i say, you are going to be lucky in coming life. When a person has decided to not reveal anything, he won't no matter what you thought. even after all this fellow says me to love care that person and mentions there is no ego in love. Wait, wait, wait, what did you say rubbish ? Really ? I say to person you can surely manipulate in a way, where every body will say, its me whoz troubling life of  other person/u. But deep inside you know, it was your initiative, your expressions showed your mind and you can't change this fact till you are on earth. Your smartness may conceal embarassment some times but not always. I feel sorry to say that but you wouldn't have enough choice to reward your feelings and you cant complain for it to your god. If we continue to do something which is wrong by our own principles, who can help us ut? Some ppl amend ways midway but as i said some and never feel shame in apologising but i know you won't.

God exists or may not be but there is something called goodness which never return's empty handed. With every insult, it becomes more determine to achieve that and says feeling never die, what dies is, our will to feel that feeling. A person can hide, misplace feelings but can't kill them. So feelings still must be there, know the reason why ? search the answer and as you deliver the answer your love would be standing with you and also for ever. If your feelings were natural and true then its a loss for other one as it missed opportunity to be happiest and luckiest person on earth. Not just for making yourself feel good, these are natural laws which no one could ever break. Let them laugh and make a joke of it but life has a tendency to teach hard people in harder way.There are people those correctify themselves midway.

Well I don't know where this person in me, learnt all this but I know, how much these principles have cost me. For last 25 years, I have always lived life silently with his mentioned principles but all I have got is, pain and more pain. lately it has become unbearablre and now it has reached up to a point when I can't take it anymore. This pain already made me feel numb at times. Now I don't want to tread this path, he mentions.

ps: Once I asked my dad whats most difficult thing to do in our world.

He said "TO LIVE,LIFE OF A SIMPLE PERSON" !

"Dad I'm agree from day onwards."

and one day........

Ek chota sa sapna tha........................... ..
Us sapne mein koi apna tha........................... ..
Us apne mein kuch sakoon tha...............
Jo zindagi ka junun tha......................
Us junoon mein ek rahat thi.............
Jo sirf teri chahat thi..............
Us chahat mein ek andaz tha............
Jo meri dhadkano ka raaz tha...........
Us raaz mein ek khushbo thi..............
Jo meri sooch ki justuju thi..............
Us justuju mein ek hararat thi...........
Jo meri khushiyoun ki sharat thi.............
Us shahrat mein mein ek ehsaas tha..........
Ke tou jo mere pass thee.....................
Us pass mein jo ek araam tha...............
Woh bas sirf ek tera NAAM tha.........................

Associations and departure.........

Whatever may come but life moves forward. So is it like that we should not look around when we are passing through? But human, who is supposed to be most sensible thing god ever made, due to sheer its characteristic, cant restraint himself. Human says " I'm on my way and I also know it's a long journey whats wrong if I developed a bond with a fellow traveler? It makes me to take things easy just like natural tendency. I have every right to walk with fellow by hand in hand until it bothers him/herself." Looks sweet and sensible but non existent any where. If you see you are being interest for someone. OK, then what, just ignore and move ahead. Aah but while moving you see the pain at face and you turned put everything away for a moment. Stepped towards it slowly and anticipating pleasure he is going to deliver.
But as always truth is stranger than fiction, you stumbled when you have been asked to show identity. why ? Maybe circumstances made fellow, putting up things this way. But you never get that bonding force working again. Even when you insisted you are earning nothing but pain. Wondering is it all ab't,what I have been listening since my childhood. Should i call myself unlucky? Honestly No, because everything around never let me approve , in fact anybody at this place, where I'm standing now. Then what? How to say that I have put away all just to see a smile on this face. Is it vengeance for my late response? I just acted when I felt it. how Cd I stopped when I had nothing in my mind except reward and just reward. Sitting under a tree, searching answers for self made questions but life is not ab't survival its all about living with a mark, then what ?

Alone in Dark

Every yup every thing you touch just awry. For a sec I thought, no its not truth. I'm in a dream and just gotta wake-up.
You wait desperately to get this dream over but it don't. More you try to wake up and realize it was a dream but night didn't finish and dream proves its not a dream,its realty precisely h arsh reality. Is it so easy guy asked himself. A dark night with chilled air, he just left his room and secret window let him out of this boundary. Alone in dark, loneliness is the thing he hates most but you have to live through what life puts in front of you. It's a cemetery, fear? when something takes your most precious thing than there is no fear. blank with a mind, he knows this place has 2nd rank for venomous snakes of south Asia but when mind is blank, you don't feel anything.  After engineering days, he has almost quit drinking.
 The only love of my life. why ? why did you do this to me. He cried why did u do this. He knows he is alone in the dark all alone. May be god making my childhood wish true which is only wish i hav made everyday when i saw ........... suffering, God make me strong, don't wanna feel any pain, I promise i'll never fall in love to create a chance for that.

The Day....

No doubt, am Late n shpould have done earlier but let me keep this as a real value experience. So I call it a day, I kno its tough but I won't miss u.

Awarapan, Banjarapan..........

“mai jab bhi tej chalta hun, najaare chut jaate hain
koi jab rup garhta hun to saanche* tut jaate hain….
main rota hun to aakar log kandha thapthapate hai
main hansta hun to mujhse log aksar ruth jaate hain”


* saanche= moulder - use to make different shape

But y ?

ps: Faasle aise bhe honge socha na tha,
Samne tha wo shaks mere per ab wo mera na tha !

Kabhi kabhi mere dil main......

Guy said people do ditch, when you least anticipate and their perfect shot come, right at the place, you never ever wish to get. In fact life has taught him, At First ppl try their luck then a well planned affair for chosen ones. Later bad mouth each other and ruin everything.

So why to go for such situation. He follwed same which resulted a very good career path. At times,  when social issues came and said him that oneday you will get someone to live with remaining life. Guy thought my strength remains within me, when you have a person along with you then can I expect same? Guy realized a veryimportant part of success comes from your better half. This relation has a power to ruin your life as well as shinning above all. He thought but how come I know, howz a person? Answer came observe around and learn. This was his way of living untill he meets her. Just got attracted by first view, he wondered whats  that ? n why its so? Guys has enough proposal and few of them were dream girl of friends. But the way he lived, he didnt get distracted anywhere. Even he was given a tag of arrogant, he never said anything. So whats reason for getting attracted now ? But feeling he had got was awesome and he wished for the first time in life, God just that one, Nothing else.

Next few days pass

when he confirmed, it wasnt a dream and interest shown from otherside was easily palpable.  So lets settle it some day. Here comes the point when story gota twist. When he arrived, he gotta knew, fellow has gone, for a sec guy just felt like a dumb. He thought, he never gave any indication of interest and this might change equation. 

aftr some more time

A person was said to be strong head, adamant and insensitive but what guy saw was completely different. So guy decided to go beyond all these where even no one can be too bad.

Peson who raised feelings said what ? me ? no mistaken. Guy knows if u dont want to accept then no one can make u do so. But why ? I'm same person. Now what? He  wasnt having any plan simply because he never thought that such situation will come. As they say life has great surprises for everyone. But in case of guy it was greatest, reason behind it was that when guy was followed, he didnt show any interest because he saw n one of them carry what he wants. In fact after some more time, he had lost any hope that such person exists in real. But one more surprise.

Guy never said anything about this to anyone so he was the only perosn who can share these harsh times.  After all guy had made a will to live with. He knows he can achieve everything easily but as said if u really want to enjoy your life then trust some one. When Attributes compliments perfectly, life becomes awesome.

When person come by own feet and showed a  glimpe, making ur dream more beutiful. Is it so easy to come and exit someone's life. Guy said I dont know about others but as far I know, people say, its a pleasure to live life with me. No, not boasted ever but its what I heard. Guy adds further when you have, I need, to show these people why I'm so.  Which I cant do alone, things around, trying their best to deviate me and letting me away from you. Everything related with you will feel pride of having me coz surely I dont have any devine power but giving my best effort is, in my hand in fact as I always did.  I know no one should trust so easily  so I give you my time to think about it. But give a serious look. At last, dont let me down this time, I promise you that I, wil never let down myself again at anytime of life.   enf ???

Guy asks her, tell me when you were interested you must be having some emotions, where are they? dont they compell you ? dont they say you to be honest? Well if you have something which can erase every emotion then plz give me too as the only option left with me. 

Situation was critical so lets  see whether faith of guy wins or anything else.

 

Where is that cute smile yar ?

It's not like that guy was angry or had any hard feeling. A girl with that virtue will only do that, even at any cost will never let herself out. In fact guy liked gal only for this virtue only. But problem is, how, how to make the girl believe, that you really loved her for this virtue only.

Guy knew you will never let yourself out, That's why guy never got angry because same vir tue is forcing girl to be like that way. Even thats why he took initiative for first time in life. His nightmare haunts every night that two right people couldn't be together in life, In fact. Guy told everything because he doesn't want to leave that person. He is doing all sorts of things to get it but sometimes every projectedion you made, makes you lose the thing which you least wanted to loose. Because past has a lot of situations like this and finally both go on their ways differently to leave a pain within. So for be different result, you needed to do things differently.
He will wait for ever n ever, coz he knows that fellow deserves best. May be you passed your tests of times n fellow come to you or say May be fellow some day believe in you and joins you to live life ahead. After all hope is not bad thing.

ps: Either gal will come soon or takes time, evident is, girl will have to come n accepts to be a pillar of strength' for youself, m more than sure for it.We may change situations but final outcome comes the way it should have come.

Happy Bday Buddy

Hum apne gum ko sajakar bahar kar lenge,
Tere khayalo ko thoda sa pyar kar lenge !



Yup it your bday, May be u wont like if i come and wish, so escaped asap before my mind loose control and heart starts to impose it self. Yup I wanted to wish but I thought, its ur day n u shdnt have anything which upset u. In fact, I was here to cheer u up but it was my misinterpretation. But don't worry, I know how to deal with it.

May god fulfill your all of the dreams

Enjoy !

one more battle.

Tumhe kaise me bataaun, tumhe kaise main kahoon,
mere bas main agar hoto main bas itna hi karoon,
tumhe din bar, tumhe har pal dekta hi main rahoon,
tumhe deykun tumhe chaahoon, tumhe poojun har pal,
tumhe sochun, tumhe samjun, tumhe maangoon har pal,
tumhe main gungunaaun, tumhe gaaun har pal,
main tumhara hun aisa diwana meri jaan
mera marna bi tumhi ho , mera jina bi ho tum,
meri madira bi tumhi ho, mera peena bi ho tum,
meri chaandi bi tumhi ho, mera sona bi ho tum,
mera hasna bi tumhi ho, mera rona bi ho tum,
meri saari saanson me tum jaise ho guli
meri aanke tumhe deyke, chahe bandh ho ya kulee,
main tumhara hun aisa diwana meri jaan,...
mere dil me hai ye armaan tumhe ek din paaun,
is ambar se bi aage tumhe leykar jaaoon,
jahan raahon main ho bikre sab chaand aur taare,
jahan geeton ki behete woh meete dhaare,
jahan khwabon ki duniya kabi soye nahi ho,
jahan tum ho jahan mein hun aur koi nahi ho,
main tumhara hun aisa, diwana meri jaan

"and his mind won"

Guy never knew, that a story listened in childhood days, whose ending always upsets him, will gotta see so early and so close in life. Recalls the day when guy said to friends, that he will never let the same ending in his own story. There was something which haunted him every time n when he wanted to tell fellow, I have been framed so trust me now, I can not tell everything now. But surely wil do and u will proud of making decision to trust me, But fellow believed only what was plagued around and guy just glances through glass window and seeing it getting away with every second. now wat ?

Guy tells her everything honestly by thinking that, it will give an idea how pure your intentions are. But fellow, who has showed interest earlier, just thinks there is nothing special about you. As fellow now knows, Guy really inclined at fellow so now its fellow's turn to show importance by making fun of guy's feelings.

All this when some ppl tried and failed despite being a force to attract any one and lot of requests, threats and pressure have been tried and finally their bottom line was, its real tough to get that guy. But when this guy willingly comes to fellow, fellow means guy may not be the one, fellow was looking for as he doesn't carry anything of those things, he is known for.

(Truth was, guy knows there is nothing precious than character of a person and person with it must be held closely for ever and such person dont believe in ego, anger, or any other such issue. so if u want to put your stand then go and tell fellow everything honestly. If fellow agreed, u r lucky and in case not agree then ask what fellow luvs to be with in life and ur job is to be best person to fulfill that criteria, In fact it's the only way he has been taught n always lived with,whenever a time for decision comes. one day fellow will say, u deserve me n its an honor to live life with u).

But being practical, fellow thought, guy is only acting to impress, as guys now a days don't talk/think that way. So finding nothing fellow assumes there is nothing of interest in guy. Guy gotta know that fellow thinks, as no more showed interested in guy, so guy getting so desperate. Cant help but, coz when u will see ppl refuesd by him, u will wonder how can u leave such person. Guy said, they don't have wat I'm looking for. The day i will get those characteristics, I will go there with bowed head. Guy again says that if u or sm1 else don't believe in value, I do then its ur's problem. But for me truth is that only, U may think, there is ntn like morality or otherthing related. Guy replied, may be u hav't seen it working, so u dont believe in it but I have seen it working so I strongly believe in that. Just cant change my value if smody things it crap and same way i cant adopt wat u or ppl want from me. So still my reason has same value for me n u wil believe too when u see it happening one day).

Fellow laughs with friends when he tells them about guy and his proposal. Every body assumes that this guy is looking for a gal as he has become frustrated and now needs some one in his life by hook or crook. Guy starts to get a cold shoulder. With time it increases, converts in hate, irritation and finally made guy appears to be as the one who just need a pal any way so became desperate.
Guy goes and says, I want u to be with me and explains situation. But Guy surprised to see that he is, of no value any more, in fact now guy coluld be called as useless simpleton.
Now situation comes when guy knows truth expressed cant help anymore. then wat to do ? wat else ? wat to say, already truth has been mentioned. If something values most important for guy, may not carry same weightage for some one else. As they wont believe that this is the real reason behind a particular credential of guy, so everyone agrees that he is lying.

Just imagine a situation, everybody run behind guy and when guy runs after smthing quoting a thing most precious on earth. All respect goes in vain, coz guy is now requesting for getting some thing, fellow thinks guy dosnt deserve it actually, as fellow had some other issues in mind about guy, fellow was informed by sources. Although when fellow gotta know that one was lucky to get it. But just because ppl had a different perceptions u left it just for regret.

Later one day will come, guy go back to ur path with a smile to be the guy, he was earlier. Guy know everything will be achieved again easily in fact better. only pain guy had, to see fellow moving away n away and erasing every hope to convert beautiful dreams in more beautiful reality.

2nd part

One day guy did it again, better than last time, and when one day met the fellow. After few moments fellow knows what guy said, became really true and wonders what if had been trusted by me then it may be possible, today fellow was not among guests but........Guy recalls one ore time, i wish i cld tell u, it wasn't about face.

Guy smiles n only thing in life to regret is, u didn't believe me, when i say trust me just for the sake of me. Now look how beautiful my dream looks in reality. I'm sure,Together we could have done something much better even i call a miracle than what I did single handedly. But u trusted only, what they said, I wish u had looked in my eyes to know whether I'm wrong or right.
They knew now both of them hav to live lives by holding this issue within n it really hurts.....Specially when its anticipated that how beautiful dream it could have been possible, provided they had faith in each other's abilities as sometimes u have to believe what ur inner voice said not what being circulated around.

ps:Guy knows he will never accept that ending but he can do his best only wats in his hand.
That's wat guy wanted to say....so now looking other side....and can d only one thing "prayer"

Mirror says

Transsiberian thrugh the wall

There were a lot to say but never got a chance to say so but still there is a hope because he has read in her eyes. Guy standing in front of mirror and said " God if u really r smwher then why this? u know everything ab't me . " Mirror said , I trust you tell me, what were those issues. Guy : 1. If its really first one even it was not in a teenage. ?? 2. What can i do? if i hav been taught to look for a precious thing by its characteristics? 3. Why all those babes never succeeded? 4. What if i'm more sensible than othr in my age? 5. Why i just feel lovely when i gotta see her. 6. Why i never took a chance earlier? 7. What if I like u and want to be with u? why i feel so good ab't u even when with everysteps I'm getting more hurtled? why i feel that i can win world if u r wid me never been so, yup feared too and wanted to say why i say so but ... when everything available at foot steep than why I j ust need u? N how good i have been ask them those missed, value is known when object is lost, it hurts Ran furiously, plz wait, I am not what u r assuming but it again taken as vice hurting more was shedding tears, hw cild i make u believe, its all to prove me wrong. It will giv impression wat i havnt ever thot or knew. But frustu is the word for guy who nvr bend his neck to see around. Now with silence is on......... only vice would be when she will know guy was true, but its too late. Guy said why dont u b natural as we were? But dont know what made gal to interpretate wrong. For once let me put my stand n result wil be prevailed.
Look, u will one day believe more than Me , in my results....but gal know, ther is noway back. Guy observing his images of dreams n suddenly say, how beautiful could it be. He turned fast n say gal, it was us, who were involve. If smthing went wrong then why shd we leave other. Gal says yes n next moment guy was busy to make a image of dream better than anything in world. Gal say.........yup, thats the way..... Guy smiled n accelerated him self a bit more fast............. coz if its true it will come back with all the world's grace...... it will.

No wher in no time

Mam,
Tell me what should i do? If i'm not smart like u . I can't forget everything related to us . You can delete blog, id, accnt but tell me wat should i do ? It cant be like this. why tell me why did you this. Was it me who started this, Seriously I'll forget everything but tell me plz what the *uck i do now. Left all for you and well, you know well.

No it cant be end, coz its not well.At last everything must be well, if its not well then its not the end.

all i know....

I don't know if there is god
But I know there is a thing called goodwill .
I don't know if super power exists,
But i know emotions can inspire to achieve extraordinary results.
I don't know if gun is the most powerful thing in world.
But I know courage can face and win toughest battles.
I don't know if hate helps in taking revenge.
But I know love can convert ur worst enemy , in to ur best allay.
I don't know if there is a thing called luck
But I know hard work & dedication can make u win all world.
I don't know if there is a thing called money,
But I know feelings can't be bought.
I dont know how much time i have been defeated.
But I know trying again and again has never allowed let any obstacle stop me to achieve what I desired.
I don't know how much powerful m I
But I kno faith can move mountains.
I don't know how much good look, I have got.
But i know beauty lies in eyes of the beholder.
I don't know how difficult my way is.
But I know determination is the strongest thing in this world.
I don't kno how much she hates me.
But I kno 1 da she wil b mine 4 ever
I don't know wat it costs 4 makin dreams true
But I know how beautiful my dream is .
I dont kno if success is predestined
But I know miracles do happen with ordinary people
I don't know how much trust she puts in me
But I know friendship is the strongest bond

written in my 1st yr of engg !

Not what, its about how sm1 did ...

Kisi ke ek aansu per hajaro dil dhakte hai,
kisi ka umar bhar rona bhe bekar jata hai!

Moment

Although all moments seem to be alike in all aspects. But differentiation exists as some special one's. A moment can be make special by taking a decision in it's realm. A decision of life time to make a promise or dream true. If you don't make your dreams true, obviously it is not someone's botheration. Decisions are best help available for realizing your dreams. If you feel down, look your life in lieu of a decision. Picture clears and you know what to do. May be it was a long gap for your creativity, but thats how we learn. Make your nearby decision in moment and make it special. Rest will follow !



p.s. Add all these special moments and you get.....what we call it "LIFE " rite ?

And u thought.........

from here

CHALTE CHALTE MUJHE ABHAAS HO RAHA HAI.
KADAM BADHA LO AB PRAKAASH HO RAHA HAI.
CHHUTE HUE DOST, MEET AUR PARCHHAIYAN .
MIL JAYENGI AB MUJHE VISHWAS HO RAHA HAI.

RISHTE ADHIK TUTE, BAHOOT CHHOOT GAYE,
KUCH NE TO MILNA BHI NA CHAHAA.
PICHE AB RISHTE KA KARWA AA RAHA HAI.
KADAM BADHA LO AB WO BHI SAATH HO RAHA HAI.

NAYI KOPAL, NAYE PHOOLON KA SAMAJ HO RAHA HAI.
UNKO HAATHO SE SINCHO, GALE SE LAGAAO,
IS PRAKAASH ME, AASTHA KA VIKAAS HO RAHA HAI.
KADAM BADHA LO AB PRAMOD KA AAGAAZ HO RAHA HAI.

IS NAV PRAKAASH ME KRODH, PAAP KO BHASM KARO.
SUKH SHAANTI SE AB SAMAAJ KA VIVAH HO RAHA HAI.
ASHISH DO VISHWAS DO,SAATH HONE KA AHSAAS DO.
KADAM BADHA LO AB SWARG KA VISTAAR Ho RAHA hai

Observe the trends...

Ye palko ke kinare jo humne bhegoye nahi
wo samjate hai, jaise ke hum kabhi roye nahi,
Puchte hai ke kiske khwab dekhte ho rat main,
Aur hum jane kitne shiddat se soye nahi !!

Mom it's your day !

These lines are dedicated to the most beautiful woman, I have been knowing so far in my life.
My "MOM", Yup it has to be u mom. There is nothing in this world which can make me to repay debt for what you have done for me. All I can do is, to give my best in never letting any tear touch your eyes.

I could give u diamonds for each tear u cried for me
if I could give u sapphires for each truth u've helped me see.
If I could give u rubies for the heartache that u've known
If I could give u pearls for the wisdom that u've shown.
Then u'll have a treasure, mother, that would mount up to the skies
That would almost match the sparkle in ur kind and loving eyes.
But I have no pearls, no diamonds, As I'm sure you're well aware
So I'll give u gifts more precious ,
my devotion, love and care.
admiration
appreciation
I consider myself fortunate when I remember I'm a part of u !.

love u n so on......for everything u hv done for me.

Colouring the day !

Kehte hain agar kisi cheez ko dil se chaho to saari kayanath tumhe usse milane ki koshish me lag jaati hai..

People say that if you love something so much,then the whole world try to get you close to that thing.

Down but not out !

Faisla hone se pehle, Main bhala kyu har manu,
Ke jug abhi jeeta nahi aur main abhi hara nahi !

Wotever u call it.....

A Cube called Life

People look at you, then they believe what they see, draw a map of your personality and put their opinion. They fight hard to put their opinion utmost, highest. If you are looking at these people and u might wonder what's their interest in someone's life? People predict your future or results of deeds you performed based on what they think you to be, the way they have been seeing you for quite some time now. And If you did something which wasn't supposed to be done by you? Lets say you did something exceptionally well, although your earlier works doesn't bear you fruits of success. Then people claim that you have got some XYZ support / favour and in any case they will not accept it's your accomplishment.

I always thought why people do like that ? why cant they just live with it ?
After putting things one by one, I knew what the problem is actually with them. No body wants to be quoted as a loser. They think you like something in their realm, when you do something different which goes out of realm, they fail. That means what they think about you, is wrong and this makes them a loser, which they are not ready to accept. Truth is that, they fail with their thinking and you made them fail. Because you never let anyone know or notice, what actually you are capable of . Or other way we can say that may be with time you grew well and learnt quickly. You made yourself capable by working hard.
Problem become worse when they compare this with their own failures. They left midway as they thought it was no more possible to do. At present you made them realize, that they can also be wrong. It makes them remember their past and first time in their life they feel leaving something mid way might have been a mistake. Results could have been something else, provided they had had kept working continuously.
So answer lies in faith, nothing taken as impossible. Try things in different view, different angle or......But surely leaving midway is never a option. Nobody taught me this, I just realized this when I gotta met a old time buddy yesterday at home. We both started together but he stopped midway and now he just knew that he was wrong in stopping midway. While seeing him off, I could anticipate he was in a state of regret for past decision. As usual I tried to cheer him by using some jokes and banters and got succeeded a bit in diverting his attention. But later I thought, It's true that nothing can bring him back those days so that he could correct it and move further again .It applies to everyone and projects how can a wrong decision can change your entire prospects.So next time you make a decision...mean it...and yup mind it coz its a real serious business buddy, you get only one shot !

a sweet memory......

Its for a person I gotta meet in my last week of Mba, with whom I, wanted to talk, wanted to ask and a lot more. But scene changed before I could prepare myself ............... and I feel all that was just a dream........a lovely dream.........

Just wanna say thanxx for what you made me feel.
I m loving it.

At home..........

Well when I was coming all the way to home, a fellow passenger, kinda talkative, asked about my career so far. As usual I gave him a brief about it, and as he came to knew about that I'm going back to home after Mba. He said me "it is going to be my best time, I asked "why" ? He said with a track record like your's, you will have a very good future with such a good job just being a beginning for you he further added "now don't need to worry anything at this point of time, just enjoy. I didn't give much attention for this and just smiled but his words " good time" just left somewhere in unconscious mind.
But what actually followed, I'll not call bad time . But surely one of the disturbed phase of life. Being a lone son, I always have had my own advantages and disadvantages.
It helped me in shaping career nicely , but company of siblings gives more fun to life. One more thing I realized early is that I accepted I'm alone and whatever I have got to do at my hands, is my work. Do it with pleasure or do it with pain, it's all mine. Perhaps that was one of the deciding factor in my career. In last 8 years when ever I came home, books accompanied me . This time when nothing more to do, I felt some kind of loneliness creeping with in.
But what to do ? as it's again my very own problem. But issue is whom I'm missing ? Because I have seen very closely, even If you do your best, when someone has decided to hate you, you can't change one's mind. Even if you put ego thing away, still no chance. Go close, get hurt and cry like a loser and cycle continues. So what's use to have one !
It's interesting to observe How things change at a place you left behind for perusal of your aim/dreams. In childhood, when ever we came at dad's native place, I got company of cousins and just couldn't know where time has gone. Me and cousin no2 found, we both share same frequency and with time our bond grows strongly. We both wanted to be super commando dhruv or some cony detectives of diamond comics rajan iqbal. Life was good and both us were desperately trying to grow older, to do the things, those were prohibited to children. That's not enough we tried some risky things to encourage ourself. In our achievements first comes when we both were walking on bridge made for train passage, bridge was quite long and only single way movement was possible. When we almost arrived at mid point, we just realized from opposite direction train was coming at a very fast speed. Being at the mid point and single way passage , we had one option only "to run". But my detective cousin said, even if we tried we are not going to make it before train thrashed and rip our bodies apart.
We both enjoyed doing risky things. So when train arrived at the place, we were standing, both of us were hanging from bridge by holding lower part of rail ( wooden part) on which train was moving. W e were 12 then and next 2 mins were simply enough to tell how does it feel when death just pass by your side. We felt how long is a duration of 120 seconds could be. After train was passed, we both came over an just felt like we have done some miracle or some extra ordinary job. We both didn't say anything to anyone ab't this . Ppl saw two boys hanging from bridge after train passed they rushed toward us, but we were quick enough to disappear from scene before they reached there. But what was the situtaion while hanging from bridge which was 150 mts above ground level ? Well just cant explain as it shakes me now.
Not only this, I remember that dark night when both of us left the bus midway to make a short cut through a jungle for reaching his maternal uncle's home. That place was 23 kms away and some how no 2 mark was erased and we just thought it's only 3 kms away. 5 hours journey through a place, where even in day time, no one dares to pass because it was considered haunted along with potential danger of animals, robbers . Although we also gotta know this when we reached our destination.
Today we both passed each other, by pretending as hasn't seen other one.How things changed ? None of us know. He did what he wanted to do and so did I. Career and those last 10 yrs made us different human and honestly I dont know why we both have become like that. May be it's one more shade of life.
He used to say, there are very few things/people in life, when you look at and your heart says, just give me that.........I will not ask any favor, I will get other things by myself. Although now we are different person with our own set of characteristics, I believed in it and tried myself never get into such thing. Now with all things settled well.
I have just felt, yes, there was something I missed. But I cant blame my self, initially I thought, it's my illusion there is nothing as real what my eyes see. May be it's again lone child tendency which stopped me to desire what is not in my realm. When you tread a path of some philosophy for 25 yrs of life, you just can't change your ways for what you just feel like doing that. You wait till the fog dies in dust and you can predict what to do. But right at the moment if some one replace the thing ?
Don't know what to do. No, never cry like a loser then what to do ? Ask your heart, was it real what I have seen ? Do u trust your eyes ? If you do then what your eyes saw, existed some where. Find it, win it, create it. It doesnt matter where is that thing/one now, If you know that thing is the one, you only need to create your rainbow. Then there is no regret. You will get it and believe me if your faith is true, eventually that thing will come in your way..........and thats what, I believe in, live in....cause miracle happen for those believe in them.
So let the thing/one know you are out to win it whatever was the obstacle, it was, if you are sure, That is the "1", ntn else matters, its better late than never, there is no shame in apologizing for being late and asking for what is your's. After all it takes time to ask yourself " what do you really want" ? But when you know, life looks like a dream comes true. It might not be existed earlier, but if you could create and did what you said. Then there is nothing as good as living your dream.

How ?
Winning is a game of passion, get one in anything, achievements will follow you !until you convert some impossible, in to possible. You haven't given a chance to your life to be grand, or wats use of a life if you don't have something dying for

I luv this line from movie khamoshi " wo zindgi he kya jisme ko namumken sapna na ho !"

keep watching this space

coming soon !

To See You......

EUREKA !

Keep ur desire burning !

Angel

since u hav gone......

Your name in japanese

Yesterday I got encounter with this thing. Lets check what does name ABHISHEK look like in Japanese. Interesting...

ABHISHEK ---- KATURIKIARIRIKUM

A - ka	B - tu	C - mi	D - te	E - ku
F - lu	G - ji	H - ri	I - ki	J - zu
K - me	L - ta	M - rin	N - to	O -mo
P - no	Q - ke	R - shi	S - ari	T -chi
U - do	V - ru	W -mei	X - na	Y - fu
Z - zi

TRY OUT FOR YOUR NAME..............